Making a college decision is one of the most important decisions in a teen’s life as it marks an important decision from childhood to adulthood. Not only does it
mark this intense transition, but it also may possibly decide where a student will spend the next couple of years.
The varying factors that go into this decision require immense review and can cause stress. This anxiety over decisions is heightened especially when parents’ ideas and students’ ideas clash.
How to Handle When Your Decisions Differ
Have a Frank Discussion with Your Parents about Their Perspective
Parents always want what is best for their kid. Have them present their ideas of why they think another pathway is a
better decision. Try to understand their perspective and see where they clash with your opinion.
Is it finances? Academics? Location? As soon as there is an openness established between both parties about where the issue lies, further progress can be made.
Present Your Viewpoint with Convincing Points
From my experiences and the experiences of the people I know, there are a lot of common misconceptions held about schools by both parents and the kids. Many times, families look at the sticker prices of schools, or at superficial details like the
prestige of schools.
This is your chance as a student to either fix misconceptions or present to your parents how the school of your choosing would benefit you. This could take on the form of presenting facts about the typical aid a student can get or different scholarships that you could obtain.
Discuss all the opportunities the school could offer you in terms of your specific major, such as research opportunities, internships, or
study abroad opportunities. If the issue is location, look into the campus safety protocols that the school of your choosing has in order to ease your parents’ anxieties and discuss the positives of the locations.
Overall, present an image of how you would thrive at the school of your choosing.
Take a Family Visit to the Campuses
Being on a campus provides so much more insight than a website ever can. By being able to view the daily life of students,
parents can more easily visualize their children attending such a school if it leaves a good impression on them, and students can decide if such school is a good fit for them for the next couple of years.
By
visiting the campus, you can also account for a newer variety of factors that one would not usually consider such as weather conditions, nearby areas, quality of food and dorms, great varieties of extracurriculars, etc. Also, by being at a campus you can easily catch the vibe of the students there. Do they seem happy and extroverted, or are they quiet and introverted?
Talk with Students and Employees of the Schools
The best resource to acquire information about a school comes from the students that learn there! Not only will they tell you information that you cannot find on brochures or websites, but they will tell you everything with honesty.
Ask them about a typical day at the university and how they are handling their classes. Furthermore, you can get direct answers about
student life, such as the best extracurricular activities, the general happiness of the student body, the level of satisfaction with dorm life and the dining food, etc.
Not only this, but they will give you honest answers about the opportunities available to students. Do most students take advantage of the opportunities like the websites advertise, or are they only available to a select few that qualify?
Along with students, talking with employees of the school may sway both the parents’ and student’s decision. The employees can give out information about financial processes, the
career pathways for certain majors, the alumni network, student services, and much more.
Compromise
Sometimes, no common ground about a certain school can be reached. In my experience, a lot of these situations end up in compromises between the parents and the student,
For example, when my friend could not dorm at the school of her choosing which was in the city, her parents agreed to get her a car so that she could still visit the city despite the fact she was not living there. In another situation, the compromise was family dinners once a week. The possibilities are endless.
Make Your Own Decision
At the end of the day, a college decision is the student’s choice. The majority of incoming college freshmen are 18, or turning 18, which also legally allows them to make their own decisions. However, when making an independent decision, one must take inro account whether this decision comes with emotional and/or
financial support from parents.
It is normal for parents and students to have differing opinions on what school is best for the student. However, instead of arguing, families should come together to have honest discussions and to research.
